NEW POEM: Words To My Younger Selves

This LGBT+ History Month (U.K.) S P Clark is sharing 20 new poems to mark the 20th anniversary of this historic celebration of the LGBT+ community and its contribution to society. Each poem celebrates S P Clark's own journey. This fourth poem, Words To My Younger Selves, looks back at the poets understanding of his sexuality and his place in the world at different stages of his life. Links to more works and books you can purchase are featured after the poem.

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Words To My Younger Selves

Written to coincide with LGBT+ History Month (U.K.) 2025

To My 5 Year Old Self

Run free and stop being scared

You know you’re different but that’s okay

Charge around

Make your noise, bellow those sounds and don’t forget to smile.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is on TV after school – you won’t want to miss it

Those glasses your Mum let you choose with the turtle colours and Donatello on the arms – yeah, they’re a mistake!

To My 13 Year Old Self

So, you’re in a state of confusion

Insufflating new life into your seclusion

Hiding away from the truth, scared of the reality

Driving your increasingly weird-self forward with some degree of conviviality.

Tear yourself away from The Joy of Sex and those Roland Caillaux illustrations

Stop crying at night in pain from your self-flagellation

What you feel is okay; it’s natural and deserves exploration

Stop hesitating and submerge yourself in deserved elation.

The name-calling won’t stop but it will become easier to bear

The punches and kicks well…you won’t know they were there

The broken heart you have shattered will one day repair

The haters won’t matter, you’ll find out who cares.

Hold his hand

Kiss him.

To My 25 Year Old Self

So much sex with so many men and women has been enjoyed

Experimented with sexual fantasies, degradation, capitulation,

Submitted and dominated

Beaten and eaten, bored and swallowed, sweated and slapped

Anonymous encounters in unprotected traps.

You’ve danced in bars waving that rainbow flag

Dressed and performed outrageously in drag

Fucked in the toilets with some low life scumbag

Surely, you thought, this can’t be my life!  The life of a fag!

You turned to bad things and coped through addiction

Buckled and broke in your cyclical prison

You will be happy one day; won’t see your sexuality as an affliction 

I wish you could already see through my eyes; look through my prism.

To Myself Today at 40 Years Old

No hindsight to fall back on as I talk to myself in the mirror

The addictions are present but fainter than ever

The urge to find love is stronger than ever

The pain of self-hatred is softer than ever

The ease in my brain is kinder than ever

The scars of the rape run deeper than ever

I battle on.

I am formed of fragments of my past that can’t be swept away.

© S P Clark

You can purchase more S P Clark poetry on LGBTQ+ love by clicking the links below:

1. The Journey To Love: (A Long Weekend Away - Thursday to Tuesday)

2. TWO MEN, ONE LOVE

3. To view the full range of S P Clark's releases, click here